3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
