shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Come see our sink grown plant.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
