Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
did you just send me my own nude
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
