She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
