let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize