I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
