how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize