google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I need moral support for this bender
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
