You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
