I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
do nipples grow back?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
