Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
