I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize