Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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