So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
