Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize