I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
