Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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