I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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