Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
