I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
