No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
