I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
