He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Randomize
