brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
