i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
whose parrot is this?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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