my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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