I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
