just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize