just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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