im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
