I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
