He is an equal opportunity slut.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
