I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
