Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
