I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
