my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize