Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize