I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
do nipples grow back?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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