U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
