I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
