I puked a lego.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
