he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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