We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
they're like a gay fantastic four
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
