I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
