I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
