As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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