she woke up with a sticky ear
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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