Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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