you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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