their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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