she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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