just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize