i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
