Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
