I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
