I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize