she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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