are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
