some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We were destined to go to rehab together
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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