You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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