I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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