doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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