Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
