My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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