i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
