Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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