What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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