she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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