5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
