after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
