I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
