Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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