This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
