did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
