I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize