I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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