i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
