Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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